A Bit Loaded God Complex
by somehowivy
Summary: Sephiroth and Tifa in Gold Saucer. A bit OOC and drunk Tifa.


Author's Note: A YouTube clip inspired me to do this. You can search it there. Actually, the clip was Aerith's and Sephiroth's date.. but I have this sudden interest in "Sephiroth and Tifa" date. LOL! I changed the dialogue a bit.

Thank you for the person that made the YouTube clip. You know who you are!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in here but the plot! But I do own a shih tzu.. =P

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Sephiroth was peering out through his room's window.

He did not know why he was staying there when he should be on his way to Northern Crater. And of course the Ghost Inn was just so unbearable.

Who would want to sleep in a room where there are other several empty beds beside you? Why is all the inn in this game have one room with all the beds shove into it? And they have a guillotine for a... is that a paper weight? A guillotine for a paper weight? What kind of sick bastard would have that? But hey, what makes Sephiroth any different? He was the one responsible for burning a small town, killing several people, and leaving the toilet seat up.

_Calm down_, he thought. So he continued staring through the window when he heard someone knocking at the door.

Tifa Lockhart, member of the Avalanche, came in - or rather swaying - into the room.

"Hey Sephiroth! Whatcha doing here?" she greeted.

Sephiroth examined her. Her eyes were droopy, her tits were big, her face was flushed, her tits were big, her balance was a bit impaired, and her speech seemed to be slurred. She was drunk.

"The almighthy Sephiroth does not need to explain himself to you!" he said. He paused for a moment, and seemed to be hesitating when he continued. "And besides I got lost, I could not remember how to get to Northern Crater and Mother is all: go left here, go right three times, run past that mountain and take the path to the northwest just after you do a pirouette. I mean how can you go to the Northern Crater through those?"

"She is a bit of nagger, huh?" Tifa commented.

"And a bit OCD," He cleared his throat and shook his head in disbelief how could he say that about Mother.

"I am just going to stay here for a while 'til Mother misses me," he added.

"Cool! Then you're free," she exclaimed. "Let's go on a date."

"What? But I am your enemy! I plan world domination! I am heartless and for that I could not bear the possibility of ME going on a date!"

"Stop being a faggot!" Tifa said as she went behind Sephiroth and pushed him out of the room. "Yey! Date!"

"B-But Mother will be _very very_ angry!" Sephiroth tried to stop her but to no avail.

They arrived at the Station and a guy who was hardly heard through the freakishly loud music said that every attraction for that night were free and invited them to go to the Event Square.

"C'mon, Selena!" Tifa slurred.

"It's Sephiroth!"

Tifa pushed again Sephiroth through a rainbow rimmed hole. "T-Too m-much c-color. B-Burns my e-eyes," he muttered to himself.

"Congratulations!" greeted the park's staff. "You are our 100th couple today! You will play the leads in tonight's show!"

"We are not a couple seriously! And it is impossible to have 100 couples round here, I mean look at these people," Sephiroth pointed to the spectators of the play. "They're like... what uhm… 10 people there. And look some are leaving!

"Which one of you is the girl," the staff mumbled as he ushered them into the backstage.

The play started with the narration that the kingdom's princess was kidnapped by BDSM - I mean EDK (Evil Dragon King), and the hero Alfred, which by the way, the character Sephiroth would be playing, was summoned by the king to rescue his daughter.

Sephiroth entered and then a man covered with tin cans was twirling his way onto the stage and stopped in front of Sephiroth.

"Oh you must be the legendary hero, Alfred!" iron man /knight/man covered with tin cans greeted.

Sephiroth ignored him.

"Hey guy with the wig! It's your line!" the knight jeered.

Sephiroth's cheeks were flushed with embarassment. "T-This is not a wig, worthless human!"

"By my soul please save Princess Rosa."

Just then the king character twirled his way into the stage. "Oh legendary hero, please save Rosa."

"You? A king? Worthless!" Sephiroth spat. "Hand me over your kingdom! For I am the upcoming god of this world."

Then the EDK appeared. "What ho! You dare ignore the Evil king Dragon, er, dragon king!"

He dropped the princess, who is Tifa, on the stage. "Oh help me hero Alfred,"

"I am no hero!"

"Hero Alfred, just save the princess from the EDK. Show me what you can do! I know you're man enough! Stab using your long sword!' the knight cried.

"Oh dirty talk! Me like-y!" Tifa said.

"Jenova, save me from this agony!" Sephiroth sighed with exasperation. He lazily drew his Masamune and feigned to stab the EDK. He thought that it would be pointless to annihilate those actors for now, because he would come back here for revenge with slow and painful torture.

The EDK acted coughing and spat, "How deep can you go? Let's find out."

But the EDK could not longer fight. With those last words, the EDK fell.

After the play and some bathroom break, Tifa dragged Sephiroth to the Gondola.

"You know, I've noticed that there were several dirty talks back there at the play," Tifa said, while her head were swaying gently from side to side because of the alcohol.

They were sitting across each other. Tifa was looking over the window, she looked like she was searching for something... or someone.

"There's Cloud and Aerith!" she noted.

"Hey, Sephiroth," she called to the man across her. "Come sit beside me." She patted the space beside her.

Sephiroth did what he was told maybe after that she would just leave him alone. He just wanted to just get this over with so that he can come back to Mother.

"Yo, Cloud! Hiccup!" Tifa called over the railing.

"Put your arms 'round me, Stephy," She ordered Sephiroth.

"It's Sephiroth!" he corrected. "And no! I will not do that!"

"You were named after a hamster," Tifa told him suddenly.

"What?"

"Now be a good little bitch and put your arms 'round me. Or do you want to hear more offensive lines and... uhm... some spoilers"

He reluctantly streched his arms across Tifa's back.

"That's my good bitch!' Tifa said, patting his head. "And as for spoilers, you will stab Aerith in the near future, y'know."

"Wh - Maybe because she took my ribbon!" He defended.

Tifa ignored him. She took Sephiroth's wrist and commanded, "Now wave at them."

Sephiroth did wave.

_That'll teach that douche for sneaking away with Aerith like that_, Tifa thought to herself.

The ride was over and both of them stepped out of the gondola.

Tifa was still drunk but was trying to keep herself from falling on the ground.

"I've rethought my plan in conquering this world," Sephiroth started. "We're very much alike. We are left alone, yet we're strong, and -"

"And we both have long hairs," Tifa interjected.

Sephiroth ignored the anger rousing in him. "Yeah and that..;. and we both hate Cloud."

"I dont hate Cloud!" Tifa retorted.

"Okay..." Sephiroth paused and seemed to be thinking. "But we both hate the girl."

"Aerith?" No! I..." Tifa trailed off. "Oh yeah I hate that bitch!"

"Let us repopulate this land with a new breed of our army!" He announced, raising his arms.

Tifa saw the light in his cyan-colored eyes. It was not Mako that made it shine that time, but something more... something scary.

He looked at her, waiting for her reply. She knew she had to say something but not 'til she blocked the fear she was feeling for him

Those eyes...

She had to say something.

Just something..

She forced herself to open her mouth. But suddenly, drunkness took over once again...

"I have to puke," She slurred and dashed away from the gondola.

Sephiroth was left dumbfounded.

_I shouldn't have left Mother..._

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Author's Note: Please review! This is my first fan fiction!


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